October 20th

I'm getting closer to the big day! I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I just pray to God that we get the answers we've waited on for awhile.
I'm such a hypochondriac that every little thing I read makes me think "oh, this could be it" I need to stop self-diagnosing myself.... I only freak myself out that way! So that's the main reason I'm excited. I'll finally get some kind of answer. Well, I hope at least.

I'm praying like crazy!! All I want in this world is to be a mommy and Seth to be a daddy.

Ahh Seth has been so wonderful through this process. He's really kept me calm and seems to be optimistic. Defiantly something I need right now. But I'm scared to be much cause what if I get bad news? I don't wanna build myself up to only be torn down again. :( I don't know, I guess I'll just have to keep patient.
8 more days!!

Other than baby stuff....I feel like this place is crushing me. I've never been more homesick in my life. I feel like I have no friends here anymore and that I've been cast out of whatever "circle" I was in.
Everyone I do know is getting to leave this hell whole A LOT sooner than we are. It's unfair. Not gonna lie, I'm jealous of them.
I understand the Army is all about moving around and whatnot but I've been gone for a long and I won't be seeing the states until NEXT year. And unless I get pregnant anytime soon it won't be till July. Which is better than October. [Seth is sending me home 3months earlier] ANYWAY!! Being placed in another country when your 100% american is hard. At first I hated this place, then grew to really like it and even missed it when we were gone....but now I'm back to hating it. Nothing against the country or people itself...it's just not HOME.
I miss my parents more than anything. I know we have skype and telephones but it's not the same. :(
I just wanna be back in the states.
I miss Wal-mart, waffle house, Wal-mart, the mall, REAL McDonald's, all the yummy restaurants, Wal-Mart, my best friend, being around people who speak my language [no language barrier] and the list goes on and on. lol

Ugh.
it's just one of those nights.

That's why I'm glad I have a blog to rant in. <3