Been over an year!!!

I haven't blogged in a LONG time...so I guess since my boredom has gotten the best of me I'll write one.

Seth is back from deployment!!! We survived :) and still going strong to this day <3

A lot has happened since I wrote last.....

I was ONCE again given a blessing only to have it taken away. I just don't understand and it's killing me that the doctors haven't given me any answers.

All I want is a child. I want a family for Seth and I. I want to be a mother. I want Seth to be a father. Is that TOOO HARD TO ASK FOR???? At this point in my life I'm just emotionally drained. I keep trying to picture my life with a little baby but it's hard. I think I've almost gave up. I know people keep telling me "All in God's time" or "Be patient sweetie" or "It will happen. Just don't think about it". Yeah,
it's easy to say that when you've had success.

I'm back at that place I was over a year ago. Every pregnant women pisses me off, everyone that has a baby pisses me off..... I guess you could call it good ol' fashion jealousy. I know I sound like an asshole but it's how I feel.

Everyday I sign into my Facebook a new person posts "I'M PREGNANT!!!!" then continue to have a successful, healthy pregnancy. It makes me angry because half of them aren't married...or they have such crappy marriages that think a baby is going to fix it.
It still bothers me drug users and whore's get what I want so desperately. When will the unfairness end? When WHEN WHENNNNNN will it be my turn?????!!!!???

I know I rant on this a lot...but till you've had to deal with what I've had to then maybe you'd understand a little better. =/

I'm waiting on TriCare to call me with my appointment to see a Fertility doctor. I'm praying and hoping that I'll get my answers. Negative or Positive, that's all I want is ANSWERS!!! That way if I'm told "Mr & Mrs. Strickland, you will be unable to have children" I can make steps to looking into other options.

I think the first one I'd look into would be Surrogacy. If that doesn't go well, then adoption it is. But I'll of course have to wait till I'm 25. But I guess if I've waited this long I can do another 4 yrs?

Blah.
Just a depressive mood has got a hold of me.

Sorry =/

But I shall keep everyone posted, for those who care.